


Let me be a gentleman and lay down my king.

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Category: MCU, Marvel, The Avengers
Genre: M/M, angst angst and more angst, it's just angst, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-26 15:41:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21376516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: "Most of my baggage is inside, that's why I travel so light. That's why I travel alone."Bruce wants to leave. Tony can't find it in himself to convince him to stay.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, Stanner - Relationship, Tony Stark & Avengers, preslash Tony Stark/Steve Rogers, science boyfriends - Relationship
Kudos: 10





	Let me be a gentleman and lay down my king.

**Author's Note:**

> See any typos? Please do let me know.
> 
> Also, do you think I should continue this? It feels very hopeless but they do care for one another. It wouldn't necessarily be about them coming back together but maybe alternate POV post break up?

This was it. Was it not?

Bruce stood in front of the bar, watching the shot of vodka in front of him. His first since... Since forever. Having a father who loved alcohol more than you, easily shapes one's views on the drink. But single glance over his shoulder, where Tony stood with Steve, taking the glass of champagne handed to him with no hesitation and a faint blush on his cheeks as the two spoke to journalists, was enough to convince the scientist to empty his glass. Tasteless. Purposeless. But Bruce was glutton for punishment and asked for another. And another. And another. Nobody really noticed. Nobody really cared. The scientist chuckled softly, low and bitter as he down another.

He scanned the crowd, searching for someone, anyone that would see him. But they had lives to live while he was still struggling to rebuild on what was left of a gone past. Hell, even Bucky was faring better than him, laughing with Sam and Jim. "A toast! To re-ra-re-reclination? Reacclimation? Reacclimatization!" He chirpily declared, just for the bartender, who offered a wounded look. Bruce pouted. "Aw, aw no, no no no, you-you" he pointed at the man. "you don't feel sorry for me, I'm a monster." He declared, not an ounce self-pitying. Just very matter of factly. Then chuckled, his whole existence being the joke there as he downed another shot.

"This is the last place I thought I'd find you." Tony spoke, lightly furrowing his brows as he leant against the bar next to his lover.

Bruce chuckled. "This is the last place I'd want to find myself too." He leant in, conspiratorially. "My inhibitors are not liking this. I can feel my control going shooo." He chuckled at the worry that passed in the other male's gaze. "Hey, you won't even have to poke me to see the green from up close! Isn't it what you wanted? To see the monster destroy? Because I'm an attraction to you ? Aren't I? I entertained and now you know me too well, I'm boring again." He glanced toward the bartender, holding out a finger for another shot. Tony put his hand on top of it, stopping him. Bruce's eyes shot to the shorter male. "I never thought I'd see the day Tony Stark would refuse a drink." He chuckled again, knowing this one would hurt. Judging by the wounded look that passed in the other male's eyes, it did.

_For a long while, Tony had drunk to deal with all sorts of ache, a temporary sort of balm that only led to greater damage. Then Bruce had introduced him to smoothies, threatening to replace all coffee in the tower by decaf. Which he did for a while. Smoothies didn't really cure the alcoholism. Talking with a friend, did. Bruce could pretend all he want that he wasn't that kind of doctor, when Tony had needed actual therapy, he'd been there. He'd hated being in the same place for so long, especially one so exposed, but he'd been there. Then Tony had spoken about feelings and Bruce had left. Spooked, yes. But because ethically speaking, this was the_ _right thing to do. He'd returned within the same month, apparently he needed Tony as much Tony needed him. He had no idea when that had happened, but it had._

"Let's get you out of here, buddy." Tony spoke, calmly.

Bruce noticed the way his jaw clenched, the way he'd squared his shoulders as if he was ready to take in a hit. He'd done that? He'd made Tony feel unsafe? The scientist blinking, stumbling back. "I..." He shook his head. "Please, no. Just... Stay with Steve alright? It's okay. Stay at the party. Enjoy yourself. You, you deserve all that. You deserve." He repeated with a firm nod. "I don't belong but you deserve."

"_Bruce_.."

Tony took a step forward, making the good doctor recoil. "Please." The word came out wounded, even to Bruce himself. Because yes, yes he was wounded. "Don't." He went on, a fierce expression in his gaze. "One of us deserves to enjoy themselves." He angrily tugged at his tie, loose curls falling before his eyes. "I don't—" He shook his head. No point stating the obvious. "It's fine. Be happy or whatever. I don't know. I've never broken up with anyone before. But it's like chess you know? I've lost. Let me be a gentleman and lay down my king. This is it. This is goodbye Tony."

The engineer glanced around, noticing how silent the room had grown as all eyes fell on them. Tony swallowed thickly before focusing back on Bruce. He could, should, let this go. Except he couldn't. Tony reached out, fingers gripping onto the other male's arm. Jealousy could fuel anger, trigger abandonment fears, and The Hulk, well he protected. He protected Bruce above all. It wasn't personal. Hulk liked tin man. But the contact hurt Bruce, and Bruce needed to be protected. Even if he didn't like the method. So Hulk growled, dark veins running along Bruce's neck and eyes growing green. "Let go." Tony did. Hulk believed he'd done enough. He wouldn't harm tin man. Bruce took back the reins and left.

Tony ignored all the eyes that fell on him to make a beeline to the exit. Natasha stood in his path. "Don't." Simple. Straightforward. Wise. Tony was none of those. But then, Steve and Bucky were approaching, so were Sam and Rhodey. And their eyes all said don't. He didn't listen still. Why would he?

"I'm sorry." The engineer said. As if it wasn't his own life he was putting on the life. As if the lot of them weren't worried about him. Tony found Clint and Thor awaiting for him outside. The only two who'd understood it'd be pointless to try to dissuade him, so might be there to accompany him, just in case.

It was easy to find Bruce. He didn't particularly try to hide. Went back to his own room, hastily packing stuffs.

"What are you running from?" Tony asked, entering alone.

"You." The reply came. Not intended to hurt but managing nonetheless.

"Why?"

"I hate how you make me feel. I hate it here."

"No. You don't."

"But I do." Bruce argued.

"You really don't. You love having your own lab and being your own boss. You love cooking for the team. You love actually sleeping in comfortable beds. You-you love me." Tony petulantly argued, his arguments sounding shallow to himself despite the fact that they'd once been meaningful enough to make Bruce stay.

"No, I don't love you, Tony. I'm in love with you." Bruce corrected.

"To-May-To. To-Mah-To."

Bruce furrowed his brows. "No. Really not." He chuckled. "I'm not saying your love isn't true Tony. But you're not in love with me. Will never be. You're grateful you had someone when you needed someone and now you want to be that person for me."

"I call that bullshit. Called it months ago the first time you told me that."

"But can't you see? It's been months and I still can't hand you anything. Steve..." The good doctor shook his head. "It's fine, truly, Steve is your favorite maybe. I can't live up to that. But you should pursue it, see where it leads you."

Tony scoffed. "Pepper and Rhodey can hand me things too. Why does it matter?"

"Exactly for that very fact, Tony. They're your family. I'm not. I'm your colleague you happen to fund and fuck. It's..." He sighed. "Let's drop it please."

"That's what you do every time. Pretend it's alright yet make me feel like I'm a horrible person for not getting it. You know, you talk about trust but you won't let me in. How do you expect me to love you if you won't let me in?"

Bruce blinked, eyes glossy. He moved toward the door, standing in front of Tony. "I let you in more than anyone else. I'm sorry it's not enough. I'm sorry if I don't have a ribcage to open and offer you my heart. Not that you ever did." He looked away, not wanting to see how that specific jab would land. Bruce wet his bottom lip. "Like I said, it's fine. No subtext this time around. No hidden grievances. Go on with your life. Obviously you've grown bored of this ride so hop on another. I mean, after all, I'm the failure to Steve's success." He shrugged. "It's an upgrade really."

"Will you stop for a second with Steve? This isn't about him. It's about your insecurities, Bruce. I've hated Steve my whole life because he embodied everything my father hoped I'd be. But then I met him and I got to know him. Because he wanted me to. You? You're the exact opposite ? I've admired you my whole life, and when I finally met you, you were closed off and so scared of yourself that you assumed everybody else was. I love you, Bruce, I truly do, but every day it gets more exhausting to pull and pull and pull hoping to find a thread that will make you unravel. You don't ask for a place in someone's heart Bruce, you earn it. And you never really tried with me. I just let you get away with it. Because you're broken and sad. But guess what? So is the whole world. We're all fighting battles others know nothing of, you taught me that. Maybe consider listening to your own advices."

"If it's so hard just let me go. Why are you even here?"

"Because I'm pulling, you idiot. Unravel. Show me the real you. Get messy if you need to. Or walk out. I won't stop you."

Bruce sighed deeply, moved back toward the packed duffel bag and grabbed it. "I need walls Tony. I love you but I need my walls. It's like a dam in there, I can't let it pour out, I can't drown again just to make you a little more inclined to be in love with me. Most of my baggage is inside, that's why I travel so light. That's why I travel alone." With those words, the scientist walked past the engineer.

Bruce chuckled at the careful expression of Clint and Thor, who'd been waiting outside the door. "No green incident guys. He's fine."

"Banner..." The Asgardian amenably tried. As if he too, hadn't once apprehensively held his breath when Bruce grew tensed or frustrated. Clint at least, had the decency not to try. He remained silent, arms crossed and sad expression in his gaze because he'd understood this was the end.

Bruce shook his head. "No, no. It's okay. I'm a monster. Don't apologize for acknowledging it." He smiled, self-deprecating and tired. "God it'd be a lot easier if I wasn't already sober." He sighed deeply. "I'll see you guys when the world needs Hulk." The resignation in the words, the acceptance that Bruce was just a mean to an end, in that case getting your hands on a useful monster, rang too loud, too clear, to be anything but unpleasant for anyone in the room. Bruce ruffled his curls, let out a short chuckle-like breath and left.


End file.
